14 Ways To Actually Resolve Conflicts With Your Friends

Friend fights: If you have a friend you love, you’ve probably had one.

Friend fights: If you have a friend you love, you've probably had one.


The Pokémon Company

Or more than one.

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And they can be hard to resolve.

14 Ways To Actually Resolve Conflicts With Your Friends14 Ways To Actually Resolve Conflicts With Your Friends


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We asked people in the BuzzFeed Community how they figure out their friend fights. Here’s how they deal:

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1. Counting to ten:

“When a friend does something that really upsets me or hurts my feelings, I first count to 10 to see if it’s still bothering me. If it is, I try to explain to them what hurt me, and make sure they know I don’t think they’re a bad person and that I don’t assume it was intentional. This “count to 10” method helps me pick my battles, which is the most important part.

A lot of the time, the things that bug me are just benign personality quirks. When the quirks get particularly annoying, I have to remind myself that they’re doing their best, and that there’s probably a lot of things I do to annoy them, too.” —Terri Pous

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2. Stewing in anger and eventually forgetting about it:

Stewing in anger and eventually forgetting about it:



Unfortunately, arguments are rarely properly resolved. Normally we stew over it, bitch, argue in real life and are even more vicious on Gchat. Then we calm down and wait for the other to forget it.” —Jasmine Ahmed

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3. Talking it out, even if that means hours-long discussions:

“My best friend and I never let an argument last more than a few hours. We can always tell when the other one is at their limit so when something big comes up we just sit down and don’t stop talking until we’ve made peace, whether that takes a few minutes of venting at each other or hours of discussion. Ultimately the important thing to remember is that you have to really take in and listen to their problems and be open to compromise or the smallest issue can explode.” —ruariphilipa

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4. More talking, and also John Krasinski:

More talking, and also John Krasinski:



“When my friends and I get mad at each other, usually we tell each other soon after the conflict arises. We tell them why we are mad, be it over text or in person or on the phone, and try our best to resolve it then and there. We love each other and want to make things right as soon as possible so we can go back to obsessing over John Krasinski.” —meganm43cfc878d

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5. Speaking up if someone goes too far:

“Since both my best friend and I have a lot going on with exams and things we always try to just tell each other when we are not happy with each other. Also we make sure to ask each other regularly if a joke we make annoys each other or if the ‘banter’ is going too far!” —iamonlyhalfasian

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6. Typing on a tiny screen:

Typing on a tiny screen:


Natalie Brown / BuzzFeed

“A well-thought-out text.” —barigatorpilot

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7. Apologizing ASAP:

“My best friends and I just look each other in the eye and blurt out what’s bothering us. And if we ever get super angry at each other we fester for 1 minute and then immediately apologize. But what keeps us from having more than one argument a year is communication and understanding. We both know we cannot expect them to do what we do. We understand each other and communicate when we don’t, that’s how we resolve our conflicts.” —cathys4e59a52fd

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8. Relieving stress with the help of some props:

Relieving stress with the help of some props:



“My roommates and I put our arms in our sleeves and slap each other with the sleeves until we’re laughing too hard to be mad. Alternatively we fight with foam swords until the same end is reached.” —nikkis4ff5e92e7

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9. Sleeping on it to give things some space:

“I believe that the best method for solving a fight is to never leave on an angry note. Don’t stop texting or talking to them because you are angry…keep talking and try to sort out your differences. If they ignore you, or stop talking to you, give them a night. Sleep can help clear up the brain.” —danielb4c7f88efe

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10. Guzzling down a drink or two:

Guzzling down a drink or two:



“We drink. It’s a big group so the combatants start at opposite sides of the room with buffers and everyone keeping an eye. As the evening goes on and drinking happens, we usually end up at a karaoke bar. By the time someone is belting out “Hero” off-key and off-beat, it’s been hugged out or shouted out and life is grand again.” —nadiad45ae96bbc

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11. Recognizing that life is just stressful:

“I usually think on it for about an hour and then talk to them about it. I try and see if there is something I missed that was going on in their life. I usually give my friends the benefit of the doubt. I know if they pissed me off it is usually nothing to do with me, they are just taking their personal life out on me.” —lindsayt4692defd9

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12. Sitting down in a circle together:

Sitting down in a circle together:


Cartoon Network

“When there’s a problem, the six of us sit down in a circle and tell each other what’s wrong and why and we get upset. It’s only for the best. The only rule is to never speak behind one person’s back to another. You tell them straight and that’s that.” —peachessb

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13. Avoiding the question:

“Don’t get into a conflict in the first place.” —silverduzt

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14. And, of course, walkies:

And, of course, walkies:


Vanessa Brown

“I don’t feed her any table scraps and she only gets dog food. She returns the favor by sitting on the other side of the couch and giving me the silent treatment. We hug it out later and I take her on a walk. I mean, dogs are friends, right?” —Bespectacled Heroine

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Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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